Old and New

I'm told that the tendancy to use the New Year to consider your life is a cultural one. Taken for granted in North America, people make resolutions for improvement. I think I've mentioned, even here, that I like to stop and consider things more routinely. But this tradition of contemplation and New Year's resolutions still makes for a great time to talk about such things.

Spend your year asking your friends for "the meaning of it all" or such and you'll be labelled as melancholy. Discussing resolutions, however, is more socially acceptable. Although even here, resolutions are often personal, and responses and comments need to be strictly limited.

Person1: "I'm planning to hit the gym more and get in better shape."
Person2: "Oh, I know a great gym in my neighbourhood and they are running a special right now."

This is socially acceptable.

Person1: "I'm planning to hit the gym more and get in better shape."
Person2: "So you're feeling fat, eh? Good, I didn't know how to mention what I'm stuck looking at."

This is not.

It's a shame, really, that we don't discuss more openly our motives behind things. Resolutions are proposed solutions to problems in our lives. We discuss those, but rarely the underlying motivating problem. Oh well.

In the coming weeks and months I resolve:

• To study my Dutch and attempt the tests to show I know it because there are things I want to do, but I need a passport to accomplish them.
  
• To go back to the gym, because my cardio fitness is lacking and I would like to loose some fat.
• To get a good job, because in a couple weeks I'll be unemployed and that's probably not good.
• To visit my mom, because her health is bad and I should be there for her.

There's more. Personal stuff. But that's the main part.

This really is a time of change for me. It isn't just due to the calendar or a holiday. It's actually kind of crazy, the total amount of change coming at once. But that reminds me of one more "resolution" I've choosen.

I resolve to keep smiling.

Happy New Year everyone! Don't stay up too late tonight. ;-)

A Good Day...

I haven't been discussing it here, but life's been stressful lately. Last week it seemed to me the whole of creation was gathering only to piss me off. Everything was going wrong and the stress levels kept rising.

Taxes were long overdue, and I was collecting data for how to report my accountant for fraud. My phone is damaged and the new one is 400% later than the 2 days I was told it would take. And work... well a couple of narrow perspectives got together and completely missed the point, but did plenty of collateral damage elsewhere.

Today however, I made a phone call and found out that 18 months of stressing, emails, phone calls, and sleepless nights are now over. My 2006 taxes have been filed! I don't even know what the submission says... part of a long story about my accountant... but it's in, and on the ultimately-final thrice-extended deadline.

*sigh*

And the phone company emailed today to say my phone just left the warehouse. So now it is only 2 days away. Saturday I can pick up my parcel at the post office. Another "Blogger" phone, of course.

There's still lots more going on... more tax things to do and work problems to solve. But all the little bits that make up the whole are coming together. Those three piles of papers go to the new accountant. These two emails get printed and brought to discuss the issues. Teaching materials for Belgium are being sent to me. I think it's actually all going to work!

So after sending emails and messages to a number of friends and family, I thought I'd put it here too; I'm having a good day!

Mostly A Good Week

That was a good week. I spent 3 nights/4 days away in Belgium to train NATO soldiers (mostly Air Force) on the intricit subtlties of my employer's software. The town of Mons is lovely to look at! So nice to walk through. So boring to stay in.

But the boring evenings were made up for three-fold by (1) Terry Pratchett, (2) French cuisine, and (4) uhm, (3) Belgian beer! The days needed no making up for. I was teaching people whom I very much enjoyed being with and working with. Lunches were always fun and class participation was high. I even got to attend a change of command parade and congratulate the new sector commander.

But amongst the enjoyable times, there was also a very sobering and nasty moment thanks to the BBC. Previously I was unaware of Omar Khadr, a Canadian citizen, who was visiting relatives in Afghanistan when it was invaded by the United States. On July 7th, 2002, U.S. soldiers attacked Omar's location... a "terrorist camp." He was the only person to survive (although gravely wounded) and arrested for the "murder" of the one U.S. soldier lost in the attack. Since that time, Omar has been held and tortured and has spent roughly 1/3 of his life now in Guantanamo Bay. A third? That's right, because Omar was only 15 years old when he was arrested.

Omar is the last Western citizen still in custody in Gitmo. Why?

Just incase Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper reads Blogger... let me state for the record that this makes me incredibly angry, ashamed, and quite frankly, left me feeling sick! Mr. Harper, I'm now feircely looking forward to voting against you! And I think this time around I'll do some campaigning around my expat communities, making sure Canadians are registered to vote. Until then, be warned that by writing this blog I've now informed my mother. You're in trouble mister!

The timing of this information was ironic. Just hours earlier I had stopped at an old palace in Grand Place (the town square) and read a plaque commemorating how Canadians liberated Belgium in the First World War. The last shots of the war were fired there, November 11th, 1918.

In happier news, Happy Birthday to the Ice Queen! July 17th was cellebrated the world over by people thankful to know her.

Inspite of a few rough patches in the middle, the training week went well. It ended on a good tone and included me staying on base a bit past class-time to enjoy some 1 Euro beers with the Comms guys. They were fun!

Finally home again, apparently for 4 weeks now, all I can say is that it is, of course, great to be back! 10 hours of sleep and a slow, quiet day have helped rejuvinate this old body. I'm hoping the clearing sky and improved weather will stay around while I head out tonight and rejuvinate the spirit. ;-)

Negative Energy

After a long period of nearly-manic positive energy there comes an energy low. But the resulting positive low is a time to relax. There's no guilt about "doing nothing" and the rest time feels well deserved.

And then there's negative energy. And after a long period of negative energy comes an energy low. But its a negative energy low. Never enough sleep. Always feeling restless. So much to do it plays on your mind while you should be sleeping.

Events have converged on me. No single event is significant, but it seems significant that everything that's happening feels like its happening to me. Taxes are the worst! I've been trying for a month to get my papers from the old accountant who was supposed to file my taxes. I've got only a couple weeks left to get them to a new accountant who shall file my taxes. And I'm traveling all this coming week.

I'm getting everything handled; it will all get done. But it just isn't going smoothly.

The town in Belgium (Mons) I'll be teaching in this week is all booked up. So no one hotel had rooms available each night I'll be gone. The old accountant has told his office staff to get my papers to me urgently. But only after 3 weeks of calls and emails and waiting. I've found a bunch of missing papers the landlord needed, but have now waited 1-1/2 months for the repayment she should have sent by now.

Am I writing this to complain? No way. I'm writing this now, because I can feel the end of it. A new cycle of positive energy is returning. I feel a lot more in control of "things" than just a few days ago. By next weekend I'll have papers delivered to my new accountant, I'll have finished a fun week of teaching, and the full moon will be welcoming me home with no travel scheduled for a month. Perfect!

Now if only I could figure out a way to keep the tax papers organized while still managing to vacuum and clean around them.

What Else Is New???

I wish I had spent more of last week smiling and relaxed. Clearly not all is perfect in the world today. But it's not so bad either. There have been two exciting new additions to my family, and I could brag about the shopping at great length!

First, congrats to my new baby cousin who escaped to the world last week. June 25th, 8 pounds, 3 ounces. Ouch! Babies are (of course) ugly little parasitic creatures, but this one has great eyes. And since I never have to babysit, I look forward to watching him turn into a person over subsequent trips.

The second new addition is a little more to my taste... a shiny new HP Laptop! Far quieter than a baby, but thanks to Winders Vista (XP I'll miss ya) it is only slightly less tempermental.

I left Holland with my personal laptop and a small idea of expanding it's memory and hard drive while away. Instead, I ended up with a dead machine who's parts couldn't be replaced due to their age. So I did the best I could and bought an emergency replacement. Yesterday I saw the same laptop advertised locally for just 799 Euros. I paid 599 dollars. That's 375 Euros or less than half. Not bad for a complex purchase decision made in <5 minutes.

They're not new, but I'm also happy to report I've been reunited with my skies, after seven years apart.

The week I decided I was moving the Europe I bought myself some new skies. That was the end of 2000. I used them that winter and once the next, but only in Canada. And they've been collecting dust in my parents' basement since then.

I felt foolish at the airport holding skies, but now I'll be able to plan a few Alpine ski weekends (in addition to the compulsary scuba-diving vacations.)

Indeed, everything in life right now is about looking to the future. There's lots of good work and work-travel coming up. There's diving to do, and concerts to see, and ski trips to plan with friends. And hopefully, just maybe, there'll be a little more time for blogging too.

At the top of my list of important things to do... a lot of dusting, and watching a few few nights worth of sappy movies. The dust has been building that last few weeks, and I could do with the a little dose of sappy.

Mons, Belgium

This afternoon I left the office with a coworker and we drove to Belgium. Our meeting with the customer is first thing tomorrow morning. It was an easy drive and we were passing Antwerp and Brussels in no time. After another 30 minutes we pulled off the highway, following the sat nav system in the car.

We pulled onto a main road and drove a while. Then we pulled onto a side road and drove for a while. Then we pulled onto a tiny country road and drove (carefully) for a while. Where oh where was this hotel???

I couldn't imagine this was a good sign. The hotel only has 5 rooms and couldn't be farther from somewhere than it was. Thankfully, this is what we found...

Good it's pretty. In July I expect to be here for about 3 weeks. Alas, I would trade roses and gardens for.... something (anything) to do.

Life Update

Well, I believe I haven't had a blog-gap this big since beginning blogging back in 2006. So technically I should have lots to say and write. Life has been crazy busy lately, including some national holidays here in Holland, a 3-day business trip to Denmark, and a lot of personal changes.

Most noteable is a specific addition to my life. One that leaves me nearly speachless. So rather than stumble over my words, I humbly suggest that this post says it better than I could.

It's A Book... sort of

Done! After a lot of (rather) hard work, I'm done the training materials for next week's course in Denmark. The writing has gotten done, but barely in time. The editing took far longer than planned. The plane tickets almost didn't happen, but have now been finalized. And at the very last minute even the colour printer didn't want to cooperate! But it's done!

This 72-page handout is really only Chapters 7 & 8 for the textbook I'm writing. So it's not really "done". But it's nice to have something shiny and physical to show for months of effort. So nice!

I'm Paid to Not Know

Some days I feel like they pay me to live in ignorance. I never know in advance what's about to happen. This, in particular, applies to my travel plans. The trip to Denmark that didn't happen in February and didn't happen in March has long been scheduled for next week. Yet I still don't know if it's going to happen. I have no arrangements or plane tickets, even though I've spent weeks reminding others of their roles in the process.

It's like working on-call. But not. I'm not paid to carry a pager or accept 2am calls. Yet 6am flights (meaning waking up at 2am) with just days notice seems to be the norm.

This is part of the reason I strive for more stability in my personal life. What's troublesome is that as I work to that, life is actually becoming less stable. Far less stable. But interesting!

Belo Horizonte

Belo Horizonte is one of the largest cities in Brazil. But after Sao Paulo and Rio, you've likely never heard of it. I certainly hadn't, before they handed me my e-ticket.

I feel like I'm constantly going on trips. Today was a trip within a trip. A long day trip; I was up at 5am to make it to the airport for a 7:30am flight for a 10am meeting. Not bad, except the meeting lasted only 90 minutes and the return flight to Sao Paulo was at 7:15pm.

Thank goodness I was travelling with Joao again! He had the sense to suggest we simply sit and wait (with beer) given the 34C temperatures. That we were both dressed for a business meeting, and both burdened with laptops and all the accouterments, our afternoon of Brazilian food and beer was welcome. Especially compared to walking the hot, hilly streets of Belo Horizonte.

The business merits of today's trip could be questioned. The merits of using a day of my time for an hour-and-a-half meeting certainly won't be. *sigh* But aside from the flights (on an airline infamous for a recently disaster) it was a very nice experience. I saw more of the countryside in the half-hour drive from the airport than I've seen in my entire time in Sao Paulo. It included pasture lands, forest, and villages of dubious architecture.

I saw the downtown of Belo Horizonte with it's tall offices, beautiful old churches, and excellent restaurants. And given the nearly 20,000km round trip from Amsterdam to Brazil, I've now got not one, but two pins on the map here. That's something. It's not much, but compared to spending another day in the company's Sao Paulo office, it was a fun trip.

Not as fun as flying home tomorrow will be. I'm already excited. Home in 32 hours! A score and a dozen. After which, my biggest problems in the world will be to simply stay awake a few more hours, and perhaps doing some laundry. Oh I can't wait to do my laundry!

Business Success & Diving Failure

My manager said," Brazil."

I thought," Diving?"

My manager said," Very important customer... all eyes on us."

I heard," Go get wet, enjoy the summer and the water."

We have a potential customer in Sao Paulo. Potentially a very big customer! And after multiple attempts to sell them our products, we were lucky they were still willing to listen. It wasn't going well. There was no doubt, we needed a hugely successful meeting to close the deal. And so I've spent a month and flown 34,000 kilometers to prepare. The whole trip to Atlanta was initiated by the need to make this opportunity a success.

The Friday meeting was a success. The customer was impressed. My coworkers were impressed. After about 4-1/2 hours of meeting, discussing, showing and explaining I think we've got it. Which is really good, since it was clear that had we struck out a third time, the blame would be mine. Instead, glowing emails are lauding my achievement. That's really nice.

On Thursday, when I was busy not worrying about work, I called every dive shop in this part of Sao Paulo. I was looking for a group that was going diving this weekend, such that I could join them. And to my happy surprise, I found one!

It sounded simple enough. A group was leaving Sao Paulo on Friday night and taking a bus to the coast. Saturday and Sunday would be spent diving, and then travelling back Sunday evening. Better yet, when I introduced myself and explained what I was looking for, they were happy to invite me along.

And then came the details. The bus leaves Friday at 9pm. Arrives at the coast at 4am, and then it's "only one hour by boat ride" to the hotel. So sleep by 6am, with the first dive boat leaving at 10am. Considering (1) jetlag has me exhausted, (2) the meeting left me 90 minutes to pack and get to the dive shop, (3) my Monday morning flight meant there could be no diving Sunday, and (4) a price equivalent to a long weekend in the Canary Islands, the whole dream of Brazilian diving evapourated. Poof.

My manager, my director, the sales VP's and all my local coworkers will recall this trip as a major success! I can't help but think of it as 44 hours in planes for a dip in the hotel pool. Splish splash.

Just Twelve Hours

Who knew? Just 12 hours away from Amsterdam is Sao Paulo Brazil. Twelve hours locked into an aluminium tube, hurttling through inner-space, tens of thousands of feet above the ground. But hey, it works!

I haven't had time for anything so far. I landed in sunlight but it was dark by the time I got to the hotel. Dinner and sleep were all that was on the schedule.

Today will be a busy one. And so I'm off to get ready for that so I have lots of time to do the lots of work. Later this week I hope to post stories and pictures, now that I've got the hotel Internet service fixed.

This Isn't Brazil!

As I travelled to the airport this morning I thought," Each journey of a thousand miles begins...

...with a train ride." Little did I know it would be more than one. Instead of being on the plane I'm on a train to Rotterdam, to get a visa to enter Brazil. Who knew?!? Apparently this trip will require ~8 train rides before the plane.

Update:
Visa by Monday. *fingers crossed* Flying Tuesday. *probably* I get to spend a weekend at home (first in a while) and I still get my full week trip to Sao Paulo. :-)

Here We Go Again!

Life has felt like a crazy roller coaster lately. And many things coincided to make yesterday that wild part of the ride right when you're spinning upside down through some kind of corkscrew, travelling a hundred and ten, and screaming with pure joy and enthusiasm. Ah life. And ah roller coasters.

Work has been non-stop pressure lately, with training and travel thrown in just to make it all difficult. But the training made getting the work done possible, and the travel made the training possible. So it is what it is. But yesterday I finally reached a culmination and the work was presented... to about a half dozen of my "bosses". It was a high pressure moment that I got through nicely and that was a great feeling!

After a nasty welcome home (sneezes and floods) my home has forgiven me. It's treating me very well. The plants also seem happy I'm back. But do they know I'm leaving again? That by this time tomorrow I'll be on a twelve-hour flight? Hopefully that won't be like the part of the roller coaster where you plummet steeply, picking up speed and hurtling towards a rapidly approaching ground. More like those parts of the ride where you get into the car and buckle in, and then step out of the train and walk away. Hmm, yes.

Thankfully I've had a few moments to steal away from evenings of work and spend with my friend(s). It's been great. Like that part of the ride where you just keep going up and up and up and you wonder if you perhaps couldn't keep climbing forever.

So life's a roller coaster. Mine is kind of a Sandusky Ohio coaster... one of those that tries to out-coaster all the others and usually comes with a name like "The Mind Cruncher". Something that implies your brains will be scrambled by the sheer power of the ride. Okay fine.

Right now feels like that moment at the end... the the ride jerks to a halt, and the only thing going through your brain is," Wow!"

Home Bloody Home

A change! This was the first time in a long while I got home and wasn't excited by that. And it was also one of the first business trips I truly enjoyed in a long long while. But its all much more complicated than that.

Firstly, the trip. The training course was invaluable! After a year of fighting with software I didn't understand, and working with a computer that wasn't working properly, my course has solved both problems. (Hopefully!) In addition, I worked all week with some great people. Some I knew and had met, others I have emailed and phoned but not met in person. And still others whom I have never known are now coworkers I will see often and look forward to working with again.

Add in my friends the van Bekkums and it was a great week! Hiking, dinners, great friends and nice times. Super! The van Bekkums moved from Holland to Atlanta just before I moved to Holland from Canada. I met them in Atlanta nearly two years ago when I started diving with their local shop (Adventures in Diving, Duluth GA).

Even the flight was enjoyable. We arrived late, but my "elite" airline membership allowed my (non-member) coworker and I to walk right past the impossibly long line and up to the ticket counter. For the first time ever, I managed to get through a metal detector in the U.S. without setting it off. In no time flat we were early at the gate, and then I once again walked through the line and boarded with priority. I love my KLM Skyteam membership!!!

And on the plane I met a guy with a brand new problem. He couldn't stand window seats. Not the lack of space, but the window itself. As soon as we took off he moved to an empty middle seat in the centre row of the plane. So I had two seats (window and aisle) to myself. A little extra space makes a huge difference in how comfortable a flight is!

And I tried a new nicotine replacement. A lozenge, it kept me nearly free of cravings, and even slightly sedated but without other side effects. (Patches have made my heart race and gum can give me a headache.)

Alas, while an entirely successful business trip, coming home was less than perfect. The "acceptable" mess I left had grown in my absence. I've heard many people complain and attribute dirty local air, but it is amazing how much dust can settle over a week in an empty apartment.

But I would have been happy if the dust on the floor had simply stayed there. Instead, I added water and made mud.

Well, I didn't add the water. And it wasn't really mud. But an overflowing washing machine filled the hallway with water. Very very not good for a hardwood floor!

While in Atlanta, I had mentioned that I wasn't afraid of flooding since I live 15 metres high in an area "only" 3 meters below sea level. The washing machine wanted to show me otherwise. Thankfully the landlord isn't worried.

And very ironically I also explained to people that using the glass return bins was illegal on Sunday due to strict noise restrictions on that day. So the neighbour who decided to spend one hour with a hammer drill into a wall above (or below?) my bedroom was a complete $(@$ing @$$#()%#.

Having been up all night in the airplane, I planned a few hours for sleep. It didn't happen. And each time I tried to isolate the location responsible for the noise, it stopped, for prolonged periods. I was ready to call the police! Although I recognize that would have been over reacting, I really wanted to sleep.

So "come home, sleep, and rest" became "come home, get angry, absorb flood, and clean until passing out from exhaustion."

Today? I think I would like a little bit of balance.

I'm Not Here Right Now

I've had a truly interesting mix of high and low technology lately. I'm attending a training course in Atlanta, Georgia at the moment. So my days have been spent infront of a computer learning the deep and scarey workings of really complicated software. But due to a forgotten laptop power supply, my evenings have been computer free.

Not exactly the same as being "unplugged". But pretty darn close.

Just incase the juxtiposition between my days and evenings doesn't sound like much, I even threw in a day of hiking! I went to Stone Mountain, just outside of Decatur, GA.

I can't recall the last time I walked through a forest; before Sunday. It was soul building. Good friends, beautiful weather, climbing large rocks and hiking along narrow forest paths. Geveldig!

Alas, last night I found a new power supply at Office Max. So tonight I'm working. (Well, at the moment I'm procrastinating.) I have a lot to prepare for my next big work project. Thankfully I've got two positives pushing me along. Firstly, this training course has made the software, which it is my job to help sell, much simpler to use and understand. The second motivating factor is that in a week from Friday I'll be getting on a plane to pressent this work... in Sao Paulo, Brazil.

Yes, I think I travel too much. And yes I'm tired of the software. And yes I hate jetlag and twelve hour flights. But... Brazil! I just cannot complain about that!

Lonely Planet February

I helped a friend go book shopping the other day. It was for a travel guide for Poland. Specifically a Lonely Planet travel guide, as these are known as the most complete and accurate for most destinations. Lonely Planet takes the unfamiliar traveller and shows them an area in a way they can enjoy and join in with. Making them, ironically, non-lonely travellers.

Maybe it's because I didn't buy a book. But this particular traveller is having a lonely February. You see, my friend's travel guide for Poland is with her in Poland right now. And before she heads back I'm leaving for Atlanta. I get back from Atlanta and head back out to Brazil, during which time my friend will be using her San Francisco travel guide. It'll be March before two of the planet's lonely travellers get to share much more time.

Thankfully February is also too full be be truly lonely. Two trips, North and South American for 8 days each. Tons of work, including receiving training, customer visits, software demonstrations and delivering training. And friends! In Atlanta I hope to see friends I haven't visited with in a year.

And perhaps best of all, for keeping my spirits up and stress down, I'm back into my exercise regime. Now that the bedroom has been moved, the old small bedroom has been converted to a fitness room. I have room to use the weights and equipment. And even my bicycle (my precious) is able to live upstairs with me, rather than in the cold basement storage. Each night in Atlanta I expect to be swimming laps in the hotel's indoor pool or sweating on the cardio equipment. And I won't be at all surprised if I loose another pound by the time I'm back.

So I can't really complain. It's all pretty good. But if I had to make a list of all the things on this lonely planet that I would most like to fill my time with... well, the number one spot would refer to a friend in Poland. The only thing I can do about that is wait. And maybe play with the weights.

Greetings from Hamburg

I feel bad. I've been remiss in my blogging and for that I should be scolded. So even though, in a more real way, I should be working, tonight I shall also blog a bit.

Being in Hamburg Germany sounds like reason enough to blog. I mean, it's a new town to me. Except for one lunch meeting 5 years ago, it's my first real trip here. And so according to others I speak with, this is exciting.

And yet once again, the only excitement or story-worthy part of the trip was ... the airport. Specifically when I got to Schiphol (Amsterdam) and intended to take my carry-on luggage to the automated check-in and then walk onto the plane. Two machines and three humans later it was finally noticed that my ticket was for Friday afternoon, not today. I was booked to be right on time for my Saturday (???) business meeting?

I blame my frequent flier program for ultimately getting me here. I went to the airport ticket desk to make changes. The lines where HUGE! And you had to take a number. There was no way I thought I would make it. At that moment it was the scheduled boarding time for my intended flight.

But technology can be beautiful, if you're on the correct side of it. I watched the man in front of me press a few buttons and get his number to line up. He looked at the resulting paper stub and the numbers on the board and just sighed. It was going to be a while. Then I stepped up. The machine asked me if I was flying business or economy. "Economy". And it asked me if I was a member of the frequent flying program. "Yes". And then it asked me if I was an Elite member. "Damn Right"!

My number printed. A-3041. *bing* Next on the board, A-3041. I walked right past the line of weary economy class travellers and straight to an agent. The whole process of changing flights took minutes. Barely. And I was at my gate in time to have to wait for boarding. Huh?

Maybe I'm setting my standards too low, but I'm pleased. Heck, I'm ecstatic! Tomorrow's software demonstration probably won't go very well. They rarely do. And the customer seems to be asking for a lot of stuff we don't offer. They always do. But in the end, however it turns out or however happy or unhappy the salespeople are I'm going to be pleased. Heck, I made it! I physically got here. Anything else that goes as planned is just icing on the cake of business travel.

Uncertainty

For most, the unknown is a source of stress. Uncertainty is felt as a lack of control, and this is a negative emotion. But I think I'm a bit odd in this regard. Perhaps because I do not believe in the myth of control. Perhaps because I know life will never truly be certain. Regardless of why, when I feel great uncertainty in my life, such as I have now, I tend to thrive off of it. I'm excited, not worried, about all the changes. I'm feeling challenged, rather than stressed, by all the unknowns.

In the next two weeks I'm travelling on three trips. Or is it four? I'm teaching a training course in Denmark right after a meeting in Germany. Or am I? Half the work and travel plans are still not confirmed. And the rest are vague enough as to be uncertain anyway.

And life outside of work has taken on a strange feel. I've got high hopes for a personal situation that is bound to cause changes. Although the chances of heartbreak are far greater than of happiness, I'm still buzzing with positive energy.

And energy seems to be the crux of it all. Uncertainty and change are like types of energy floating around. Some times life has more, some times less. But I think, maybe, just perhaps, I believe, that this is useful energy. That it can be tapped and harnessed. That in times of change, our reactions can be as positive or negative as we choose them to be. So in this turbulent time, I'm choosing to be positive.

Monday

It took me a while to wake up this morning. Eventually I started planning my work day; what needs doing, who needs to be emailed, etc.. And I began to wonder if I should work from home. I could get more done, fewer distractions... But wait. *blinks* I seem to be on the train already. Good thing too, because I was about to decide not to go.