Saving Daylight

The European Union began its annual plan of saving daylight at approximately 2am last night. While many people save money, and some save little bits of string, members of the EU can now save daylight as well.

The system, which consists of a constellation of ESA satellites blanketing the sky over Europe, works by trapping incoming daylight, storing the light energy in nanoscopic quantum light cells, and then releasing the daylight at a later time, directing it towards the land areas that were previously shaded.

Flaws in the system have drawn into question the usefulness of the project. Primarily, the nanoscopic quantum light cells are currently only capable of holding 1 hour's worth of daylight before it must be released. Thus instead of truly being able to save daylight - for a rainy day for example - the system is only capable of postponing sunrise and sunset by one hour.

Unhappy with the government tampering with their light - a natural resource previously unregulated - a large number of European citizens have decided to react. Throughout the 27 EU countries, citizens protested the shift in the daylight hours and chose instead to adjust their clocks ahead one hour to compensate.

Originally designed as a system intended to bring the entire EU into a single time zone, it was hoped that start of business in London, Milan, and Warsaw would all one day coincide. Others believe that saving daylight will one day allow the EU to compete more favourably for position in the growing Chinese economy, by moving all of Europe into the same timezone as Beijing. Critics point out that the entire idea is complete idiocy and have reset their watches to compensate.