Friday, February 29, 2008

Baden Cerveja Gourmet

On the plane the other day I saw a movie (4 actually) in which one (then two, then three) of the characters accidentally ingested powerful illegal drugs. I'm beginning to suspect that Baden Cerveja Gourmet (Baden's Gourmet Beer) may contain a mild hallucinogenic very similar to what the characters in the movie experienced.

The secret? It's a combination of factors, but the primary contributors are (1) a very large bottle, (2) a taste like liquid candy, and (4), uhm (3) a 9.2% specific gravity. From what I gather of the Portuguese on the bottle's label, this beer is brewed with only the basic ingredients (water, barley, hops) but I'm convinced there's something more. Way more!

I drink beer from Belgium regularly. I know how to pace myself when it's a "really strong" beer. But this stuff is ... well it's got to be illegal in most jurisdictions. If not it should be.

South America is a home of recreational chemical experiences. I never suspected it extended to their beer!

Case in point... I came back from an amazing dinner experience with two of my cow-orkers. On my way back to the room, I ordered two 'small' bottles of Baden Red Ale. One bottle was fully open, the other had the cap on the neck, loosely ajar. I drank from one bottle, and again, and again. I dropped a bottle cap from my hand. I bent down, picked up the loose cap and placed it into the waste bin. I drank again. I looked at the bottle I had been chugging from from and it was FULL. I was so impressed! How big are these bottles??? Then I looked at the bottle in my other hand and noticed it was half empty. How the hell did the brewery half fill a bottle? And why is the bottle I'm drinking from seemingly infinite? I don't know!

How do these coincidences happen? Really, how? I don't understand. But I think the 9.2 value mentioned earlier may have a bit to do with it.

This stuff is a hard drug. If it isn't illegal it should be! I'm a professional two-fisted beer drinker; Canadian born and raised. If I can't handle this, I'm sorry to report, that you absolutely can NOT either!

Welcome to South America! The beers are bigger, the women's butts are smaller, and none of that explains the way I feel right now. Am I having too much fun, or is there something 'funny' in this beer?

4 comments:

quilly said...

Morgan, learn to count to one.

Minka said...

Dude, you live in Amsterdam, recreational illusions is a given:)

the surprising thing about this post...women's butts are smaller in South America? I thought it would be the other way...

maybe you need to get out more?

J. D. said...

Maybe the beer is why they take long lunches and then have a siesta...Mom

I Dive At Night said...

Quilly, that was one. I had the second after posting and then it's all a bit of a blank.

Minka... "in" more. I need to get in more.

J.D. so far no beer at lunch. After flying you 10,000kms they expect work the WHOLE day. :-(