The Discovery Channel

It should be a movie... Discovery Channel, The Movie. It would no-doubt be about an asteroid (lonely and misunderstood) imparting its kinetic energy into the Earth (flashy and ignorant).

Things the Discovery Channel makes me wonder about include:

How do we account for the carbon footprint of an asteroid? Is it the responsibility of the country it impacts or does the UN spread the accounting amongst numerous nations? Does the Kyoto treaty have a contingency for this?

Based on major asteroid impacts happening every hundred million years or so, can I resume a careless use of plastic? What's 3 degrees of climate change compared to a 600 degree blast wave?

If an asteroid were to strike the Earth, how much more dangerous would this make fishing for crab in Alaska?

The "Ice Road Truckers" are hauling supplies to arctic oil drilling and pumping sites. But the show before this one showed how wind turbines and electric cars meant no need for oil. So is all the oil going to be for the "Overhauled" 7-litre engines a la Foose?

Of all the shark attacks annually, what proportion of them are on Discovery Channel camera operators?

If I use a very small and efficient motor, to get somewhere I was going to walk to, am I being Green, ingenious, or lazy?

How do I get one of those jobs blowing things up???

Why is modern science in the hands of "amateur inventors", "backyard tinkerers", and "hollywood special effects artists"? What happened to the scientists?

If my dad and I get together, build stuff, and argue a lot, can we have our own show? Can we end each show by blowing something up?

If Hitler's alien technology was transfered to the United States at the end of the war, then where's my jet pack? There should be wearable jet packs by now.