Friday, October 20, 2006

24 Hours til home....

Wow, what a difference a day makes. This time last night I couldn't sleep. I was too excited by the prospects of imminently being home, in Amsterdam, in my own bed, cleaning my apartment and enjoying unemployment.

Today the word is trepidation.

I'm tired and I wish all the next part of the journey would just disappear. But I also wish I could just hit pause, and stay in this moment and place longer. A lot longer.

When I first picked up and went away, far from home, it was hard. Really really hard. I remember leaving work and going to the airport with tears streaming from my eyes, wondering what insane descision I had made for myself. Today isn't nearly that bad, but all those emotions are there (here) again.

Coming home to my family on Thanksgiving was AMAZING! Children cried, people yelled to be heard, the same old turkey was served and went to waste, and I loved it. 12 days later, the shine is gone. My family still get on my nerves. I still get on their nerves. This town holds no future for me. But leaving home never (ever?) gets easier.

An adventure is closing.

During the last half year I've met Frank and Lies (whom I hope to know forever), Nate and Brian (you GEEKS!) who where awsome, got to know Joby more than I should have, met Diana and Debby and Megan (none as well as I'd like) and dozens of other people who have enriched my life. I've tried not to neglect Esther, and Adam, and Humaira, although I'm sure I've missed pivital points in their lives. And I've grown a lot (WHOLE LOT!!!) as a person myself.

Tomorrow's plane flight marks a passage from one adventure to another. I know not what is in store. And I sleep better for not knowing. It's going to be tough, and parts will suck. But when all is said and done, I simply hope I know even more wonderful people, have enriched my life and person even more, and am still up for the next adventure.


God, please give me the strength to continue what I so long ago started. And please get me home to my bed ASAP.

Morgan (I Dive At Night)

p.s. I think once home, my soul requires a few night dives to keep the whole thing rolling. :-) So I pray I'm also destined to be hooked up with a good PADI shop too!

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