Sunday, October 28, 2007

The Rain (drops) in Holland Fall Mainly On My Head

Never mix your metaphors. That'd be like putting two weasels in a cage and lighting the fuse. "Your who-whats? What's a meta for?" Well, metas are mostly for indexing and search engines, but they're also for other information, comments, etc..

Coffee would probably never be legal if a pharmaceutical company invented it today. And if it were illegal, I'd have no choice but to be a coffee gangsta. I'd have a van with an espresso machine and I'd sell a demitasse hit for $10 a go. Can you imagine a large latté in a brown paper bag? The criminal moving quickly down the street, looking back over their shoulder ever few seconds? Well if that ever happened, let me tell you I'd be the rather shaky gentleman with the fur coat and gold rings in the van down the alley.

Thank goodness coffee is legal.

While I'm babbling, I think this is a good time to mention adverbs. Use them people! And use them proper. Erm, properly. This bit is actually going out to the network TV execs who are dumbing down English.

Intelligent Person: Hey, how's that plan to dumb down the English language?
Network Exec: Yeah, it's going really good.
Intelligent Person: You mean well. It's going well.
Network Exec: I know how to speak proper.

An adverb is a descriptive word that modifies (describes) a verb (an action) or an adjective. Too often the adjective and the adverb, which often differ by only an "LY", are used interchangeably. In cases such as good and well, where "good" is the adjective and "well" is the adverb, well, things really get confused.

Sorry, that last bit has nothing to do with anyone in blog space. My friends write goodly. I've just had a bit too much coffee. Hey, it's legal, stop looking at me like that!

Next week we'll discuss spelling, and why I feel its rules don't apply to me.


Charline said...

I'd be a loyal client!! Let's hear it for legalized caffeine!! Woo Hoo!

Now the visual of you in a fur coat with gold rings (perhaps a gold tooth?) is just way to funny for words!! Your mom would be so proud...ROTFLHAO..but proud none the less...

quilly said...

Time change? Never in Hawaii. Our clocks don't move! Yay!

quilly said...

Oops. I put that on the wrong post. Maybe I should put the coffee comment on the other ...

Once I drank so much coffee while on a long drive that when I returned home and put the car in the garage I sat there in the driver's seat with the keys in my hand and wondered why, since the car was turned off, it was still vibrating ..... Turns out it was me!

I Dive At Night said...

Charline, of course with gold teeth, and little diamonds set into the gold. Bling bling!

Quilly, do you realize that you lost an hour in the spring, but didn't get it back this autumn? It's gone... gone forever now!

Coffee causes shaking? I ha-ha-had-hadn't noticed.

Minka said...

I love coffee too. There is little in this world, that brings as much pleasure in teh wee hours of the morning, and your first sip of coffee while the rest of the world around starts to come alive. The day I get my very own place...the first thing I'd buy is a coffee machine. I already have a fridge, you know! ;)

I Dive At Night said...

Minka, yeah I like a late cup just before sleep too. Or do you mean waking up IN the morning? Oh I hate that. It would never happen if it wasn't for my coffee machine!

How can you be a student without a coffee machine? Oh, I bet there's a "free" source some where near?

J. D. said...

This bloody machine is trying to push me off the deep end and about to succeed. I'll try ONE MORE TIME.

COFFEE...hated it for sixty years. Hubby bought a new coffee machine and he and it make fabulicious coffee. I became a coffeeholic. Perhaps I'm really a caffeinaholic. Coke is my true drink of choice. It doesn't matter, I guess, how I get my fix. (Hubby says I have essence of coffee with my cream and sugar. At Timmy's, I order medium, triple, triple.) password is related to coffee.

And speaking of GRAMMAR, my #1 pet peeve is that TV news persons and hosts are lowering the standard of the English language. (You are DIFFERENT...FROM your neighbour. You are NOT DIFFERENT...THAN your neighbour.) Our children are listening to these role models and they are listening to parents. Hubby and I wanted M.D. to always put his best foot forward and so we corrected his grammar when needed. It's obvious that kids are not being taught the fact that resumes may attest to the fact that they DID NOT graduate from high school, no matter what university is mentioned in that resume. Man, I do rattle on and on. You hit a sore spot here...but, you know that, eh? I'm going to be quiet now. XXX 000

**Lord, please correct all grammatical errors in this missive before I press "publish".** :-)

I Dive At Night said...

You go mom!

(I come by my caffeine problems honestly.)

Charline said...

You go JD!! Many people don't know that English is my second language. It drives me crazy when native English speakers can barely get a thought across yet feel they should correct me. I have a colleague is always saying that we should be working more judicially (as opposed to judiciously). Please note we are not lawyers or anything remotely related to the practice of law.

I need a cup of!

Theresa said...

Mmmm...Coffee. What did you say? Something about writing goodly? Sorry, I'm still on the coffee part. ;)

I Dive At Night said...

But Char, you do work for the government! (Nothing remotely to do with law.) Ok, I know you don't work with lawyers. He's judiciously using up your patience? You'll be in trouble judicially if you turn him into a patient.

Theresa, I know what you mean. Mmmm, coffee.

J. D. said...

I wasn't going to mention THEM, but your Dad said, "If you are going to give grammar lessons, you have to be impeccable." Sorry, dearest. Paragraph two has a problem or two.....MOM and Dad

Diesel said...

I've actually prohibited people from using apostrophes on my site. Not on purpose, of course.

I Dive At Night said...

Mom, tell Dad that it was a rambling stream-of-consciousness piece and therefore it doesn't have to be impeccable. I see two problems and they're really punctuation errors.

Diesel, you and everyone else. Trust me, I have an apostrophe in my name and no website ever accepts it. I cant, wont, and dont understand loosing the beautiful little apostrophe.

Kryte said...

Hi all,
Im currently in Denmark where they have the absolute worst coffee in the world...England included.
Sweet lord. I snuck out to get a proper cup this morning to survive the day. Fingers crossed that i survive my stay in DK.

J. D. said...

Morgan, Dear...You know how literal your Dad is. I realized that you were using literary license. It was really funny when your Dad said he was not going to continue the debate with you because, "I'd never find a ladder long enough to get out of the hole...", you would dig for him. You did win the gold in debating. You got that gene from...guess who!

Enough crappy rules in your own do it well!!! Thank goodness for "..." or I'd have to get out my copy of "Grammar for Smart People". LOL ..........Mom

I Dive At Night said...

Kryte, you're in Denmark? I'm going to Denmark! How odd. We should get together... but clearly not for coffee. (Perhaps cuddling?)

Mom, did he miss the part at the end? "Next week we'll discuss spelling, and why I feel its rules don't apply to me."

Oh, and wish this comment (#17) this becomes my busiest post EVER! Cool.

Kryte said...

IN your dreams Dive! LOL!!!!
Behave man.